During pregnancy, many expectant parents find themselves thinking, "We'll see how it goes… if breastfeeding works, great, if not…" But if not… then what? This uncertainty is very common, and it can sometimes lead to regrets later on, whether a choice made "by default," a harder start than expected, or the feeling of not having had the right information at the right time.
Breastfeeding is no longer passed down naturally from one generation to the next. Our bodies still know how to produce milk, but the reference points have faded. As a result, conflicting advice, unsolicited opinions, and scattered breastfeeding tips make it hard to know what to trust.
To avoid searching for answers when fatigue and emotions are already running high, Claire Charlet, a pediatric nurse since 2014 and an IBCLC lactation consultant since 2022, shares 5 golden rules to keep in mind before birth, so you know how to prepare for breastfeeding with more confidence and calm.
- Golden Rule #1: Meet a Breastfeeding Professional During Pregnancy
- Golden Rule #2: Prioritize Closeness in the First Hours
- Golden Rule #3: Feed at the First Signs of Wakefulness
- Golden Rule #4: Create an Oxytocin-Friendly Environment
- Golden Rule #5: Feed Based on Baby's Needs, Not the Clock
- Preparing for Breastfeeding: 5 Answers to Your Questions
- What If Breastfeeding Doesn't Go as Planned?
Golden Rule #1: Meet a Breastfeeding Professional During Pregnancy
Claire considers this "the cornerstone of starting your breastfeeding journey peacefully," and the benefits begin well before delivery.
Having a Trusted Contact Before Baby Arrives
Having the name of a kind, available breastfeeding specialist in your contacts can make all the difference. In the postpartum period, when emotions run high and questions multiply, this person becomes a reassuring, familiar guide you can reach out to if doubts arise or if you notice a warning sign that calls for support.
Receiving Guidance That Fits Your Story
Every breastfeeding journey is unique. Your questions, hopes, fears, and medical or emotional background deserve personalized answers. Past experiences, upbringing, family stories, cultural or religious beliefs, and inherited assumptions can all shape your breastfeeding journey.
"It allows you to share YOUR doubts, YOUR questions, YOUR challenges, and get information that truly fits YOUR situation. Each breastfeeding journey is different, and advice that works for one mother may not be right for your family," Claire explains.
Prenatal preparation helps ensure the guidance you receive is truly tailored to you.
Avoiding Unnecessary Purchases (and Saving Energy)
Many parents assume they need to stock up. Nursing pillows, pumps, breastfeeding clothes, nipple shields, bottles "just in case"… the list can feel endless.
"A breastfeeding professional can help you focus only on what's truly useful, if needed," Claire notes.
If needed you can always buy what you need later, depending on your situation.
Making Informed Choices After Birth
The hours after birth and the first few days are often decisive in establishing breastfeeding. When you understand how a newborn works, what their needs are, what to expect in the early days, including second night syndrome (the famous "second-night fussiness"), how to recognize feeding cues, and how to nurse comfortably, you feel more confident, even when quick decisions arise in the postpartum unit.
Building a Support Network Early On
People often say it takes a village to raise a child. Breastfeeding preparation is often done in groups, alongside other families expecting around the same time. Meeting other parents with similar questions creates valuable support, and sometimes even lasting friendships.
"Being surrounded by people who truly understand what you're going through is incredibly supportive," Claire reminds us.
A valuable way to feel less alone once baby arrives.
Golden Rule #2: Prioritize Closeness in the First Hours
Skin-to-Skin Contact as a Gentle Transition
Right after birth, extended skin-to-skin contact, ideally for two hours if possible, helps your baby take advantage of this unique alert phase to find the breast on their own.
"All their reflexes are activated: searching, wide-open mouth, crawling movements, rooting reflex…" Claire explains.
Skin-to-skin contact can help support the first feeding experience. It also helps regulate your baby's vital functions, temperature, breathing, heart rate… a practice you can continue at home. After these first hours, baby will likely fall asleep to recover from birth. It's a whole new world!
Your Baby Can Nurse While Sleepy
Sleeping deeply doesn't mean your baby can't feed.
"If baby is kept 'at the right address,' they will often latch in their sleep or during quiet alert phases," Claire notes.
All the more reason to stay close during those first days and weeks.
Golden Rule #3: Feed at the First Signs of Wakefulness
Contrary to what many believe, crying is not the first sign that baby is ready to nurse. "It often comes too late," Claire warns. Offering the breast at the first newborn hunger cues makes latching much easier:
- mouth movements
- baby sucking on their hands
- baby "searching" against your chest
"Don't wait until baby is crying or upset. They need to feel successful, and if they're already stressed, it becomes much harder for them to calm down and latch," Claire explains.
A calm baby can make feeding easier for both of you.
Golden Rule #4: Create an Oxytocin-Friendly Environment
Oxytocin is often called the hormone of bonding and wellbeing. It also plays a key role in breastfeeding, since it triggers milk ejection.
"It's the same hormone responsible for contractions during pregnancy," Claire points out.
A calm environment helps support lactation, with soft lighting, comfort, emotional safety, and an encouraging co-parent nearby.
The Essential Role of the Co-Parent
Some people say the co-parent has "no place" in breastfeeding, or fear feeling excluded. In reality, partners play a vital role, both during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. They bring water, adjust pillows, filter contradictory advice, create a peaceful bubble, support emotionally, manage logistics, and protect intimacy.
A calm breastfeeding experience is often a journey of three. And bonding is never limited to feeding. Co-parents can do skin-to-skin, babywearing, massage, daily care, and connect during awake moments.
Golden Rule #5: Feed Based on Baby's Needs, Not the Clock
Trust Your Instincts, Not Your Watch
The idea of spacing feeds every three hours still circulates. But newborn feeding is naturally irregular. Feeding on demand, watching your baby instead of the clock, works with that natural rhythm. Not all babies need a strict schedule.
Understanding Cluster Feeding
In the evening, many babies nurse more frequently. Cluster feeding in newborns is common and completely normal.
"Prolactin, the hormone that supports milk production, peaks at night. As the day goes on, milk flow may feel slower, so baby comes more often," Claire explains.
Your breasts are never truly "empty," as milk is produced continuously. Cluster feeding can also be linked to evening crying, or "release crying," as baby processes a day full of stimulation. Sometimes the breast helps, and sometimes baby also needs rocking, babywearing, fresh air, soft sounds… and patience.
Welcoming Growth Spurts
Baby growth spurts often coincide with intense developmental phases. Baby may suddenly nurse constantly, sleep less, and wake more at night. These phases are demanding, but usually temporary, lasting only a few days.
Having support for daily logistics and letting baby nurse freely often helps families get through smoothly.
Preparing for Breastfeeding: 5 Answers to Your Questions
When Should I Consult a Breastfeeding Professional?
Seeing a lactation consultant during pregnancy, and as soon as things don't feel smooth, is a good idea. Pain, doubts, conflicting advice… don't wait. Expert support often brings quick relief and reassurance.
When Does Milk Come In and What Does It Feel Like?
Milk typically comes in between day 2 and day 4. The more baby nurses and drains the breasts, the smoother the process. Breasts may feel warmer, fuller, tighter, which is temporary and a great sign. Later on, breasts soften again, which does not mean you have "no milk."
My Baby Nurses Constantly in the Evening. Is That Normal?
Yes. Cluster feeding is very common. Baby seeks closeness and stimulates supply. It's intense, but natural, and not a sign that something is wrong.
How Do I Know If My Breastfeeding Position Is Right?
Let's clear up a myth. There is no single "right" breastfeeding position. Signs to look for include comfort for you, baby's wide-open mouth, regular swallowing, and your ability to relax. If nursing causes pain, adjusting positioning often helps. Use pillows or a footstool for support, as your comfort matters.
Do I Need a Breast Pump to Get Started?
Not necessarily. In many cases, a breast pump isn't essential early on. Your body responds primarily to baby's stimulation at the breast. A pump can be useful in special situations (separation, prematurity, surgery…), but it's not required for a peaceful start.
What If Breastfeeding Doesn't Go as Planned?
Even with preparation, some surprises may arise, from a strong let-down or a very sleepy baby to significant weight loss, pain, or latching difficulties. Identifying these situations early helps you respond effectively, and we've prepared a guide to breastfeeding warning signs on this topic.
And most importantly, asking for help is a strength, never a failure. Preparing your breastfeeding journey with confidence, and receiving the support you deserve, often begins even before birth. With these five golden rules, you're already well on your way.