Becoming a parent is a wonderful adventure that always shakes up a couple’s relationship to some degree. It is perfectly normal for the bond and intimacy between you and your partner to evolve now with the baby’s development. Far from being put on hold, the intimate relations will become enriched in different ways during each trimester.
A BABY HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT WITH PARENTS WHO LOVE EACH OTHER
Pregnancy is such a psychological, psychical and emotional revolution that it does have an impact on a couple’s relationship.
The mother-to-be, now inhabited by a small being growing inside her and the father-to-be, captivated, anxious or intrigued by this nesting instinct, will gradually notice changes in the intimacy between them as the baby grows. From one trimester to another, the bond of love will adapt to the psychological and physical feelings related to the developing pregnancy and your sex life will also be affected by these changes.
Having intimate relations cannot harm the baby as it is snug and well protected in the womb where it is insulated by the amniotic fluid. Unless advised otherwise by a doctor (due to a risk of premature birth in particular), having sexual relations up until the birth is therefore perfectly possible, “technically” speaking.
However, every couple is different and will, of course, approach intimacy during these nine months in accordance with their own background and cultural influence. There are no rules. Just physiological and psychological realities and a better understanding of them will provide reassurance.
DURING THE FIRST TRIMESTER: LOVE IS REDEFINED, PASSION WANES SLIGHTLY
The beginning of pregnancy is a major upheaval. With the surge of hormones well under way, the mother-to-be’s body reacts more or less intensely to the new order of things with minor discomforts (nausea, headaches, fatigue, irritability, etc.) that are not very conducive to amorous overtures.
It is normal for the mother-to-be to focus on what is happening inside her. It is also normal for her to experience the need to resume ownership of her body, which is no longer quite the same. Having lost her usual bearings, the mother-to-be will probably find her attention is quite absorbed by her pregnancy and alternate between waves of immense happiness and some anxiety.
A need for solitude often arises. Sometimes, the mother-to-be no longer recognizes herself and, as a result, her partner no longer knows quite how to behave towards her. This period must therefore be experienced with lots of love, talking and understanding, as each person must find their bearings.
Do not worry if the passion sometimes seems to have disappeared from the relationship. This period, above all due to psychological reasons, is only temporary and does not prevent caresses or tenderness. When these minor psychological issues are not pronounced and the mother-to-be feels desirable in her new well-rounding body, some couples soon embark on a particularly emotional sex life.
THE SECOND TRIMESTER: A CALMING, LIBERATING JOY
Between the fourth and sixth month of pregnancy, when the hormonal secretions have finally stabilized, and the minor problems of the first few months have disappeared, the mother-to-be’s body is rounding nicely and the parents-to-be feel reassured that the pregnancy is going well. At this time, calm returns to daily life.
This is often experienced as a “honeymoon period”. Including where sexual relations are concerned. The psychological barriers are no longer an obstacle to female libido, which is naturally heightened during pregnancy. Some women in fact experience an enhanced sexuality during this second trimester.
Sometimes, there can be lack of synchronicity between the two, as there can be at any time during your life. It is better to talk openly about these things rather than wallowing in a feeling of having been abandoned or forcing yourself to make love.The heightened sensitivity of the mother-to-be can temporarily have repercussions on her libido. In the case of the father-to-be, it is not uncommon for returning late from work or extreme evening tiredness to lead to minor psychosomatic problems.
He also has questions to ask himself and this second trimester may be when he develops symptoms: he puts on weight, has backache, etc. Openness is once again essential, as are caresses and affection to preserve and rekindle intimacy between the couple, in particular when the baby begins to move more discernibly.
THE THIRD TRIMESTER: HEIGHTENED SENSUALITY
These last weeks before the baby arrives are a time of major preparations for the couple. The future is taking shape. Attending ante-natal courses, narrowing down the choice of name, fitting out the baby’s room, even a change of car or apartment.
The couple is now more than ever bonded and focused on the birth, and probably a little tired too. However, this doesn't mean, that all intimacy need now be abandoned. Very often during this period, couples discover new ways of dealing with the anatomical constraints presented by a growing baby.
The sensuality and eroticism of a massage, for example, can with a little creativity replace usual sexual relations, which may have become uncomfortable. And the love, tenderness and desire that can be expressed through caresses and “skin-to-skin” contact are also very evocative and sometimes better suited to the last days before the baby’s arrival. In addition to the intellectual and psychological bond, it is important to maintain physical contact. It is up to each couple to come up with their own way.